Have you ever driven somewhere and when you got there you don't remember how you got there? I do this quite often (especially when I drive home in the mornings from a night shift....scary thought, huh?). Our lives are so busy and we're constantly distracted by this, that and the other. I've been doing research on mindfulness, which is the concept of striving towards self-awareness and being in the moment. Mindfulness stems from the Buddhist practice of meditation, and is meant to be part of the process of calming oneself and finding peace. I was first introduced to mindfulness, interestingly enough, in my Addictions class. We were required to obtain and read the book Taking the Leap by Pema Chodron, a famous Buddhist and renowned author. During that semester we were also required to practice regular meditation and discuss the process with our class members. Mindfulness is used as a therapeutic tool in treating a variety of different ailments, including anxiety, depression, addiction, and eating disorders. It can be applied to all different parts of our lives, from improving our minds, body's, relationships, home life, work, etc. Practicing mindfulness has personally helped me to keep a better perspective on life in general.
Being mindful is being aware of where you are in the present, enjoying the present moment, and not worrying too much about what comes next. I think this takes practice and work. I have always been a planner for as long as I can remember. I like to know what is coming next, what my plans are that day, tomorrow, next week, and in five years. I like to make lists of what I need to get done and I feel "accomplished" when I cross things off my list. I guess it's my way of coping with life. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is if you never enjoy where you are at in the moment.
Something I have been trying to do lately is to be more mindful of my emotions. If a situation comes up where I have a negative emotional reaction to something, whether it's anger, sadness, frustration, etc, I try to stop and think, "WHY am I having this reaction? What is it about this situation that is triggering this response in me?" I think we have the tendency, especially in our relationships, to blame the other person for an emotional reaction we have. I constantly catch myself saying "You made me feel ___________ when you said/did this" when really, no one can MAKE us feel anything. It's our decision how we react to something. Instead I've tried to think, "what is it about ME that is causing me to have this reaction?" Trying to adjust my thinking in this regard has really helped me to learn a lot more about myself and address some of my own personal issues. I think mindfulness plays a huge part in this. In Pema Chodron's book, she actually encourages readers to "lean in" to the discomfort of whatever it is we are experiencing instead of avoiding it or blaming it on outside sources, and to stay with it.
I loved this quote from the book (p. 55):
"The next time you lose heart and you can't bear to experience what you're feeling, you might recall this instruction: change the way you see it and lean in. Instead of blaming our discomfort on outer circumstances or on our own weaknesses, we can choose to stay present and awake to our experience, not rejecting it, not grasping it, not buying the stories that we relentlessly tell ourselves. This is priceless advice that addresses the true cause of suffering - yours, mine, and that of all living beings."
(Pema Chodron, Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears)
(Love this)
Something I have been trying to do lately is to be more mindful of my emotions. If a situation comes up where I have a negative emotional reaction to something, whether it's anger, sadness, frustration, etc, I try to stop and think, "WHY am I having this reaction? What is it about this situation that is triggering this response in me?" I think we have the tendency, especially in our relationships, to blame the other person for an emotional reaction we have. I constantly catch myself saying "You made me feel ___________ when you said/did this" when really, no one can MAKE us feel anything. It's our decision how we react to something. Instead I've tried to think, "what is it about ME that is causing me to have this reaction?" Trying to adjust my thinking in this regard has really helped me to learn a lot more about myself and address some of my own personal issues. I think mindfulness plays a huge part in this. In Pema Chodron's book, she actually encourages readers to "lean in" to the discomfort of whatever it is we are experiencing instead of avoiding it or blaming it on outside sources, and to stay with it.
I loved this quote from the book (p. 55):
"The next time you lose heart and you can't bear to experience what you're feeling, you might recall this instruction: change the way you see it and lean in. Instead of blaming our discomfort on outer circumstances or on our own weaknesses, we can choose to stay present and awake to our experience, not rejecting it, not grasping it, not buying the stories that we relentlessly tell ourselves. This is priceless advice that addresses the true cause of suffering - yours, mine, and that of all living beings."
(Pema Chodron, Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears)
I really want to start incorporating more mindfulness in to my daily life. This whole process of mindfulness and learning to live in the moment is just that....a process. With time and practice it will come a little bit easier. In the meantime I am going to strive to be more present, to really see my children more, and to be more aware. I'm learning to just shut my brain off, to stop over-thinking things, and to just BE. I think practicing mindfulness will really help me in my quest for finding balance in life.
Here's a few good websites I came across on mindfulness in case you are interested in learning more:
Here's a few good websites I came across on mindfulness in case you are interested in learning more:
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