Parenting is like, really hard

(LOL)

I came across THIS blog post from the blog "Short Stop" that I absolutely love.  Please take the time to read it, especially if you are a parent to young children.  Seriously, I'll wait for you to read it.  Go ahead....:)


Read it?  Okay good.


She pretty much validated a lot of the feelings I have been having lately about motherhood. I have two children, ages 5 and 2 (and three-fourths.....turning 3 next month), and to be completely honest I feel pretty overwhelmed most of the time.  I lose my temper too much, run out of patience by about 4 o'clock everyday, and sometimes just want to cry out of exhaustion and frustration.  Now this does NOT mean that I don't love my kids with all of my heart or regret having kids.  Because I would not change this for the world. They bring me more joy than I ever could have imagined.  And I do want more kids (eventually).  I also realize there are plenty of people out there who can't have children, so I don't want to come across as ungrateful for the chance I do have to be a mother.  But parenting is HARD sometimes.  Actually not sometimes, most of the the time.  

After I gave birth to my second I had a hard time adjusting. My daughter was 2 and-a-half, which is a pretty good span between kids, but she was still in diapers for a few months and although she is a pretty good child it was still difficult. My son was born in September right at the beginning of cold and flu season.  And he got sick A LOT.  Like he seriously had either a cold or some kind of stomach virus from October through May.  He slept in his swing for weeks at a time because he was too congested.  He was also a pretty colicky baby and did the "purple crying thing" for 2-3 hours every night for a couple of months.  As he's gotten older certain things have gotten easier but then we traded for new challenges. I've had numerous people tell me that he is the busiest kid they have ever seen (and I have to agree).  He has since been my child that has been to the ER (at 5 months old....very traumatic), almost drowned (twice), gotten lost at Sea World, locked me out of the house, covers himself in diaper rash cream (whilst I am locked out of the house), almost been hit by a car, has been found on TOP of the car, colored on walls, threw toys in the toilet, climbs on EVERYTHING, likes to hit, bite, pinch, scratch, slap and pretty much any other form of aggression that you can think of, etc etc etc. There are times where I can't even IMAGINE having another one.  And then I start comparing myself to other mom's who have 3, 4, 5+ kids and think, "I should be doing a better job because these other mom's who have more kids than me seem to have it all together" or "I must not be a good mom since I can't seem to handle 'just two' kids".  I think I even had a bit of an identity crisis after I had my second because all I've ever wanted to be is a mom and yet I couldn't seem to handle it so maybe I'm not cut out for it.  I even went back to graduate school thinking maybe I'd be better off as a working mom (there were other reasons why I decided to go back to school, but that was part of it).  As my second has gotten older I have started feeling the pressure to have another one, mostly because of the culture around where we live (predominantly LDS, people have lots of kids, etc).  But I've started to come to terms with the fact that I am a unique person, that just because I don't have my kids every two-and-a-half years and enjoy every second of it that I'm not a bad mom.  And that I don't have to feel pressured to have all my kids by the time I turn 30.  And this blog post hit the nail on the head.    

I especially loved this part:

"You will find your way. Your way. Not your Mom's way. Not Granny's way. Not pushy Aunt Bertie's way. 

Your way. What worked for your mom, Granny, and Aunt Bertie may simply not work for you. I LOVE hearing the wisdom and experiences from the older women in my life, but I HAVE to sift through their advice and experiences and choices to find what really helps me and what doesn't. Not only are children all different, but mothers are different. We tick and tock to different beats - some of us slower and some on hyperspeed, some on schedules and some just wingin' it. (I'm the latter, Lord help me.) As you get to know your children and build your home life, you will find what works for you. You will. And, letting go of the expectations of others is a BIG part of that. Pull what works for you. Respectfully let go of the rest."      

I realized that I need to STOP COMPARING myself to other mom's.  That I am a unique individual and that even though I don't know what the H-E-double hockey sticks I'm doing most of the time, I am still a GOOD MOM.

Thank you "Short Stop" for helping me to see that.