So Small

The other night I was trying to remember the name of a Carrie Underwood song and ended up spending about an hour listening to a bunch of her songs on you tube.  She is one of my favorite singers and is so talented!  I came across this song that I've heard many times and known for a while but for some reason on this particular night I decided to read the lyrics.  Maybe it was my daughter starting Kindergarten or my baby turning 3 later this week but I've been pretty emotional and this song caused the flood gates to open....

  (Click on the title to listen to the song on you tube)

"So Small"

By Carrie Underwood 

What you got if you ain't got love?

The kind that you just wanna give away

It's okay to open up

Go ahead and let the light shine through

I know it's hard on a rainy day

You wanna shut the world out

And just be left alone

But don't run out on your faith

'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing

Is just a grain of sand

And what you've been out there searching for forever

Is in your hands

And when you figure out

Love is all that matters after all

It sure makes everything else

Seem so small

It's so easy to get lost inside

A problem that seems so big at the time

It's like a river that's so wide

It swallows you whole

While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change

And worrying about all the wrong things

Time's flying by, moving so fast

You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing

Is just a grain of sand

And what you've been out there searching for forever

Is in your hands

Oh, and when you figure out

Love is all that matters after all

It sure makes everything else

Seem so small

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing

Is just a grain of sand

And what you've been out there searching for forever

Is in your hands

And then you figure out

Love is all that matters after all

It sure makes everything else

Oh, it sure makes everything else

Seem so small

This song really has so much meaning to me, especially with some of the struggles I've gone through over the last few months.  {I bolded some of my favorite parts}. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day hustle and bustle of life and lose sight of what's really important. It's also easy to let things that really aren't that important to get in the way of what is.  I love songs like this that help me to keep that perspective.

Comic Relief: Parenting

A friend of mine shared this on facebook and I thought it was hilarious!  Happy Tuesday!

Facts about PARENTING: 

1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.
2. Did that? Lower them even more.
3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.
4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible. Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor.
5. You can never have too many popsicles in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple popsicle?
6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently– probably on Satan’s website Pinterest– that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.
7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.
8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food. In that case, you should get a dog.
9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee. Invest in some Febreeze and count down the days until they move out and you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.
10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.
11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….
12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.
13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint.
14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.
15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.
16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.
17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.
18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.
19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.
20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.
21. Homework time is the worst time of the day. Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.
22. Just say No to ironing.
23. Last, but not least, a glass of wine and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.

Found here: https://www.facebook.com/MommyMadeCraftsAndRecipes/posts/427841773996564

Change

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

-Neale Donald Walsch

The other night as my husband and I were going to bed, I started thinking about a big milestone that was coming up in a couple of weeks......my daughter (our oldest child) starting Kindergarten.  I started thinking about my little baby all grown up, getting on the bus with her Hello Kitty backpack, going to school with a bunch of kids she doesn't know, trusting her with some teacher I know hardly anything about, not knowing whether kids will be nice to her or if she will make friends or if she will be okay, along with a hundred other worries.  I rolled over on my side away from my husband and quietly started crying.  My husband realized I was crying (probably retracing the last few minutes in his mind to figure out whether he had said/done something to cause it) and we had a good talk about it.

I talked about my concerns and cried while he talked me down and helped me to see that she was going to be okay, that this was an exciting time and that she was going to love it.  I don't doubt that she will....she is very bright and social and I absolutely think she will LOVE school.  But no matter how you slice it, change is hard.  It is uncomfortable and at times, painful.  And at some point, we have to let go.  

(On a side note, my husband brought up to my daughter the next morning how mommy was sad that she was growing up and going off to Kindergarten, and apparently she got this confused look on her face and asked, "Why?"  He explained to her that sometimes mommy's and daddy's get a little sad when they see their kids grow up and she said, "Well THAT'S silly! I have to grow up!" I'm sure one day when she has a child of her own she will understand. :))  

This experience got me thinking about change and why it's so hard.  It's because doing what is familiar feels comfortable, comes naturally, and is easy.  We don't have to think too much about it.  It feels safe.  We can count on it.  Change makes us feel uncertain and vulnerable. With change we often don't know what the future holds, which can be downright scary.  But familiar can also become boring.  Monotonous. If we never change or strive to become better, we're left feeling stagnant.  We have to push ourselves out of our comfort zones every so often, because when we do, something beautiful happens. We become better.  We see things in a new light.  We become better versions of ourselves.

Some changes in life are positive.  I recently lost about 25 lbs, and while the process of losing weight was difficult, it has been an overall positive experience.  I feel better about myself, have more energy, my clothes fit better, etc.  But then there are negative life changes.  Like the loss of a loved one, going through a divorce, the loss of a job. It would be difficult to see these kinds of situations in any kind of positive light.  But I personally believe that regardless of whether it is an unwanted or negative change, these experiences are some of our most poignant opportunities for growth.  That through difficult times, we can develop parts of ourselves that we didn't even know were there, and become stronger for it.
   
Of course too much change isn't necessarily a good thing either (isn't it amazing how the concept of balance applies in so many different situations??).  Too much change in life can be chaotic. We need a certain degree of stability and routine in our lives, and we have to determine that healthy balance for ourselves.  But I think for the most part, we tend to err on the side of avoiding change rather than changing too much.  So for those of us who resist change or have a difficult time letting go, here is a wonderful quote I came across:

So in a couple of short weeks I'm going to put on my big girl pants, get my daughter ready for her first day of school, take pictures of her in her first-day-of-school outfit, see her off to the bus, and then run in the house and bawl my eyes out.  I'll count down the minutes until she comes home, wishing I was a fly on the wall in that classroom.  But then at the end of the day I'll get to see her come off the bus and ask her all about her first day and see the special art project that she made that day.  I get to witness her transformation over the school year, like a flower blossoming.  I get to watch her handwriting improve and her recognize the letters of the alphabet and who knows, maybe even see her read.  We'll get to look back at the end of the year and see how much she has grown.  

And honestly, I don't think my heart will be able to contain the joy and pride I will have for my beautiful, ever-changing daughter.      

Parenting is like, really hard

(LOL)

I came across THIS blog post from the blog "Short Stop" that I absolutely love.  Please take the time to read it, especially if you are a parent to young children.  Seriously, I'll wait for you to read it.  Go ahead....:)


Read it?  Okay good.


She pretty much validated a lot of the feelings I have been having lately about motherhood. I have two children, ages 5 and 2 (and three-fourths.....turning 3 next month), and to be completely honest I feel pretty overwhelmed most of the time.  I lose my temper too much, run out of patience by about 4 o'clock everyday, and sometimes just want to cry out of exhaustion and frustration.  Now this does NOT mean that I don't love my kids with all of my heart or regret having kids.  Because I would not change this for the world. They bring me more joy than I ever could have imagined.  And I do want more kids (eventually).  I also realize there are plenty of people out there who can't have children, so I don't want to come across as ungrateful for the chance I do have to be a mother.  But parenting is HARD sometimes.  Actually not sometimes, most of the the time.  

After I gave birth to my second I had a hard time adjusting. My daughter was 2 and-a-half, which is a pretty good span between kids, but she was still in diapers for a few months and although she is a pretty good child it was still difficult. My son was born in September right at the beginning of cold and flu season.  And he got sick A LOT.  Like he seriously had either a cold or some kind of stomach virus from October through May.  He slept in his swing for weeks at a time because he was too congested.  He was also a pretty colicky baby and did the "purple crying thing" for 2-3 hours every night for a couple of months.  As he's gotten older certain things have gotten easier but then we traded for new challenges. I've had numerous people tell me that he is the busiest kid they have ever seen (and I have to agree).  He has since been my child that has been to the ER (at 5 months old....very traumatic), almost drowned (twice), gotten lost at Sea World, locked me out of the house, covers himself in diaper rash cream (whilst I am locked out of the house), almost been hit by a car, has been found on TOP of the car, colored on walls, threw toys in the toilet, climbs on EVERYTHING, likes to hit, bite, pinch, scratch, slap and pretty much any other form of aggression that you can think of, etc etc etc. There are times where I can't even IMAGINE having another one.  And then I start comparing myself to other mom's who have 3, 4, 5+ kids and think, "I should be doing a better job because these other mom's who have more kids than me seem to have it all together" or "I must not be a good mom since I can't seem to handle 'just two' kids".  I think I even had a bit of an identity crisis after I had my second because all I've ever wanted to be is a mom and yet I couldn't seem to handle it so maybe I'm not cut out for it.  I even went back to graduate school thinking maybe I'd be better off as a working mom (there were other reasons why I decided to go back to school, but that was part of it).  As my second has gotten older I have started feeling the pressure to have another one, mostly because of the culture around where we live (predominantly LDS, people have lots of kids, etc).  But I've started to come to terms with the fact that I am a unique person, that just because I don't have my kids every two-and-a-half years and enjoy every second of it that I'm not a bad mom.  And that I don't have to feel pressured to have all my kids by the time I turn 30.  And this blog post hit the nail on the head.    

I especially loved this part:

"You will find your way. Your way. Not your Mom's way. Not Granny's way. Not pushy Aunt Bertie's way. 

Your way. What worked for your mom, Granny, and Aunt Bertie may simply not work for you. I LOVE hearing the wisdom and experiences from the older women in my life, but I HAVE to sift through their advice and experiences and choices to find what really helps me and what doesn't. Not only are children all different, but mothers are different. We tick and tock to different beats - some of us slower and some on hyperspeed, some on schedules and some just wingin' it. (I'm the latter, Lord help me.) As you get to know your children and build your home life, you will find what works for you. You will. And, letting go of the expectations of others is a BIG part of that. Pull what works for you. Respectfully let go of the rest."      

I realized that I need to STOP COMPARING myself to other mom's.  That I am a unique individual and that even though I don't know what the H-E-double hockey sticks I'm doing most of the time, I am still a GOOD MOM.

Thank you "Short Stop" for helping me to see that.

Listening Earnestly

I came across this quote on pinterest and I just love it.  It is definitely something I need to work on!!!  I have a very talkative 5 year-old and I catch myself saying a lot of "uh-huh's" throughout the day without really hearing her.  Something I've learned about children is that they often throw in very profound, meaningful thoughts in to everyday conversation, but we don't hear it because it gets mixed in with the playful, imaginative stuff (that we tend to tune out).  That's one of the foundations of play therapy, that when children are in a safe environment they will often discuss some of their deepest feelings.  If we don't listen we often miss those profound statements.  I am grateful to have had a mother who was always willing to listen to us when we were young.  She emphasized open communication and provided a safe environment for my brothers and me to share our feelings.  To this day I confide in her often, and I hope to have that kind of relationship with my kids one day.